Decluttering

“Get rid of clutter, and you may just find it was blocking the door you’ve been looking for.”

-Katrina Mayer-

Guys I’ve seriously been on the tip of my toes with excitement the past couple weeks as I’ve watched everything just fall into place for new doors and chapters in my families lives.

A couple weeks ago, the young married adults in my stake had the AH-MAZING opportunity to have Elder Todd D. Christofferson and Elder Ulysses Suarez (leaders in the LDS church) come speak to us. The night all together was the perfect getaway from kiddos (even if it was just for 90 minutes) but it was the answer to so many of the reasons I stay awake tossing and turning at night. There wasn't anything specifically said that brought peace to my soul, but it was one of those times where the moment was just right and my heart was calm enough to feel inspiration from above.

Well, actually if I’m being completely honest, in the moment that brought NO PEACE, but in time it did. Anyways, I was sitting hand in hand in a bleacher seat with Adam totally enthralled in a story Elder Christofferson was telling when I felt the distinct impression that I need to be comfortable where I am at, because I will be in this stage of life for awhile.

If you have followed my previous posts, you know that my family has been searching for a job and a bigger place to call home for almost two years now, struggling paycheck to paycheck and trying so hard to learn how to have patience when life just isn't going how we want it to go. So hearing that I will be stuck here for longer…. well, that wasn't exactly pleasing to the ear. However, God really does know what is best, and like always has created a path more beautiful than I ever could have envisioned for myself.

A week and a half after this happened, I saw an apartment up for rent not even two blocks away from our current place, and immediately scheduled a tour. It’s bigger and right next to our favorite park. However, it’s more than we currently pay and will stretch our budget to our absolute max; but guys we seriously are bursting at our seams! We walked in and I could smell that smell that all older homes have (thankfully it wasn't too bad) and I saw the lack in storage space (not too many closets), and the ceiling has these weird rounded corners. BUT from the second I walked in I was IN LOVE! The amount of open space was dreamy, the possibilities for decorating are endless and it just felt like a place I wanted to start new chapters in with my family.

We walked out to our van, and I couldn’t read Adam’s face, so obviously in my mind that means he hates it and it’s a no go. WAS I EVER WRONG! He starts by saying he’s been keeping something from me. He apparently had been thinking of switching paths for a while (career wise) to get much needed experience; so he applied for a job with the same company just in a different department and he had already set up an interview for one week from that day. He then breaks it to me that this new position would pay more which would make the new apartment a perfect fit for our family (size wise and financially). Fast forward a week and a half and Adam is offered the job.

Then a few nights later we are sitting down filling out paperwork for our new apartment and I see that it is recommended that you make three times the amount of rent. Quickly I do that math in my head and what do you know, with Adam’s new job (which will start in a few weeks) we will be making exactly three times our rent. And then the words “Be comfortable where you are at” came back to my heart and I knew that God had given me everything I needed to be comfortable with my situation.

Is this new job our dream job? No, not even close. In fact in some ways it feels like a step away from where we want to end up. (Adam is moving from journalism to advertising- he was told that he needs agency experience to get to his dream career in public relations). But it will provide for us in many ways that his last position could not, and it allows us to live a little more comfortably.

Is this apartment amazing and as dreamy as I would like? HECK NO! This place is recently renovated and has lots of upgrades, but underneath the paint and new flooring, it’s old. Like really old, and like I said it does have a slight smell, oh and it’s a basement…. But like does any of that matter when my kiddos now get an extra 450 sq feet to run around in? Nope not at all. Oh- best feature, I GET A CRAFT ROOM!!!! I’m basically saying goodbye to early bedtimes for the rest of my life, because I can already envision many late nights crafting in that room!

A few years ago when we were contemplating getting pregnant with #ClaraBelle I had the impression that God will always take care of me. In that past year I have questioned if He really was, let alone if He was even aware of my struggles. I have complained relentlessly about basically everything, and I have really not shown a lot of gratitude for what I have because I’m so focused on what I don’t have. But let me tell ya. Looking back, God was in every detail of every high and low of that last couple years. He never left my side. I know that many people are going through struggles of every kind of measure, and my own personal struggles are not over; but I have been humbled by His merciful hand and I’ve realized that “gratitude is the gateway to joy” (Elaine S. Marshall). By no means are my struggles and trials over, but I do feel like I am at a turning point in all of this. And if there is anything I have learned in the recent months that will help me endure through the remainder of this time in my life, however long it may be, it is that gratitude can make the good feel gooder and the hard feel easier.

So now after filling y’all in on that exciting news- let’s talk moving.

We move June 1st (eeeeeeeee!!!), which means I either have a couple weeks to sit around and then crunch pack or I could do something totally against my character and work on little projects so that when moving week comes around most of the work is already done. (You have to know I don’t plan hardly anything- one or two days in advance is about as much as my brain can handle, I live my life in a constant state of organized chaos- which is basically a nicer way of saying organization is NOT a skill of mine, and pacing myself is not my thing- I work till I drop than take a day off to recover before I do that again.)

So this week is declutter week; my motto is “Love It. Use It. Lose it.” I have assigned myself a “zone” in my apartment each day of the week. I empty everything out and one by one go through and ask myself “Do I love it? Do I use it? If not, it’s gone!” So far I have finished the bedrooms, bathrooms, all closets & cupboards, I’ve taken two overflowing bags to the dumpster and the back of my van is FULL of bags to take to a local thrift store. Y'all, IT FEELS SOOOOO GOOD!

When we found this apartment I jokingly said to Adam, “More space means SHOPPING!” (Guys I have a shopping problem!). I recently heard someone talk about how people need to become more comfortable with open space, and get rid of the mentality that an open shelf means space to fill. So this is my challenge. This week I am decluttering like a maniac! And when we move my goal is not to fill every inch of my new apartment but to be more comfortable with open space. “Out of clutter, find simplicity” -Albert Einstein.

Next week is deep clean. Clean all the nasty things- fridge, shower, toilet, walls, trim, windows, etc. Hopefully eliminating a mass cleanup on move out day. The following week is light packing week and then before we know it’s move out week!

So basically life is crazy, exciting and I’m really pushing myself as far as staying organized and not rushing things (because if I did things my usual way we would be all packed and ready to move by Saturday and then we would live out of boxes and eat peanut butter sandwiches while living in our pj’s for the rest of the month). As all of these changes have been occuring in our family the last couple weeks, my heart has just been filled with so much gratitude for my little family.

Despite having wanted to move for the past three and half years, the excitement that we finally get to doesn't take away the stress and anxiety that naturally comes from moving. And even though we are still a few weeks out, I am sleeplessly stressed every day. But it’s seriously these sweet kiddos that keep me going.

#ClaraBelle has really taken to artwork. She loves to color, all over every scrap of paper she can find, her legs, her brothers face (I’m sure she would color on #LivyLu if she could catch up to her), and all over my walls and doors (thank you magic erasers). She likes to follow me around studiously coloring and jabbers away the entire time. Occasionally I pipe in a “oh that’s so nice” and “by golly your artwork is going to be right up there with Michelangelo before we know it!”, but she can just talk and talk while coloring for hours, and gosh darn it if that is the cutest thing!

No one warned me that the “terrible two’s” has nothing on a three year old with a determination to “do it by mysewf!!!”. #LivyLu has been a handful to say the least with her drama and tantrums every 15 minutes and refusing to do just about anything I ask her to do, but there have been moments where I watch her step up and be the bestest older sister., my heart seriously melts. Yesterday I was totally dragging and everything was registering about 30 seconds late. Anyways I was organizing and sorting through a stack of junk that I pulled out of my dresser. #OBoy, who was playing in bed, started to fuss. By the time I noticed he was crying, #LivyLu ran in from where she was playing in the other room and was hanging off the rails of his crib making faces and sounds like a monkey to get him to laugh. In an instance he quieted down and started to laugh along with her, then soon was distracted by a toy he found in his lap. #LivyLu climbed down and turned to me to say “I make him laugh for you mommy. I’m so funny.” Then she covered her wide open mouth smile with her hand throwing her head back in laughter, spun around and was out the door.

Then there is #OBoy, who is without a doubt the world’s happiest baby. Sure he cries when he hasn't been talked to or squished between kisses and hugs for more than five minutes, and golly can that little man raise a fuss when he is hungry (which is about every 45 minutes); but it sure doesn’t take much to get a ear to ear smile and a giggle that makes every roll on his body jiggle.

It’s the sweet and tender moments of head thrown back giggles, and watching my girls pull each other in the wagon, and when #OBoy catches my eye as I’m going from one chore to another and flashes me a smile that takes up his whole face, and when #LivyLu pulls me by one finger and says “play with me mommy” that I remember that big homes, lots of stuff, whether you are perfectly organized or live in organized chaos, and if you live dust free or in ignorance of the inch of dust that has been covering the tops of your shelves for who knows how long- none of it matters if you are not filling your lives with what matters most.

Maybe I’m getting all sentimental because I’m in a transition period in my life- but no matter what point or stage you are in your life, ask yourself, “What am I filling my life with?” Honestly there are times in my life where I spent much of my days pinteresting, DIYing, and rearranging to get the perfect look and “feel” in my apartment to make it become a home, when I could have given even just a quarter of that time to fill it with more love and laughter.

Whether you have kids or not, or if you had kids but they are all grown and moved out- take a step back, declutter from stuff you don’t need and leave the empty spaces to fill with moments, memories and time for what matters most.