I am the mother of four kids, ages five and under. Anger is something I am very familiar with. In a child psychology class I took back in my college days, someone referred to the ages of 3-6 as “the angry stage”. Their little bodies cannot hold in all the big emotions that come with growing, learning, failing, winning, listening, being, doing, watching, becoming. And when their little hearts and minds can't take in anymore they manifest their stress, overwhelm, exhaustion, confusion, and frustration in tears, yelling, moving, melting, shutting down.
Anger is a perfectly acceptable and normal emotion. It’s one that overtakes us as children, and sneaks up on us as adults. And that's ok! Anger is just as normal to show as happiness, and but with each emotion there is an appropriate way to manifest it.
Everyday we have conversations with our kids that sound like:
“I know that you are angry, because you feel overwhelmed. It’s ok. It’s ok to cry, to talk, to cuddle, to take a break. But it is not ok to yell, to throw, to hit, to storm off. Now let’s breath until our chest feels calm and we can fix our anger.”
I am not a political person. Politics tend to go over my head and become too much, but I also don't like the debates, the competition and the anger that often comes with it. But recent events, overheard conversations, and the things I see flooding social media have deeply saddened my heart. And in my own small corner of this world I would like to say to you--
I know you are angry, confused, hurt, and maybe even scared. It’s ok to feel that way, we are living through hard times, and maybe you feel like there isn't a moment to come up for air amidst it all. It’s ok to cry, to talk, to reach out to loved ones, and to take a break. But it’s not ok to yell, to name call, to throw down someone else, to act out or to close off. Now is the time to breath. Now is the time to find calmness within. Now is the time to reach out with love, respect, joy, commonality, and hope.
A video I saw this morning (I’ll link below, it is a MUST watch) that not only is so applicable to the events that are stirring up our nation, but reminded me of the analogy of the butterfly (I have been pondering this a lot lately): A caterpillar is happy with the way he is, but inevitably there is a change that he must go through. It’s a change that is ugly, overwhelming, and painful. It will tear him down, make him feel like he is nothing; even though he is not the only caterpillar that must endure this transformation, he will feel alone. Sprouting his wings is not the end of it. After he breaks free from his cocoon he must hang there until his wings are strong enough to flap so they can dry off before he can go out into the world. What an awful ordeal this all must be for him, but oh isn't it worth it!
We are all caterpillars, and eventually our time of change will come. It is painful, it is ugly, overwhelming, frustrating and will break us down. We will stumble, we will feel alone and we may even resist. But eventually we will transform and we will find our part in this big world.
To this analogy I want to add-
We are not alone. Jesus Christ went through this very same transformation and He is waiting to help you. Seek His love and guidance.
There is a lot in the world with a pandemic, a change in government, the beginning of a new year. Change is inevitable and it is never easy. But it is worth it. I cannot predict the outcome of recent events, nor can I say when it will all be right again. But I do know that the anger that is so quick to consume us will not help.
We are all different because that is what makes us beautiful. Sure some butterflies carry similar features, but really each butterfly is unique in its beauty. The way you think, live, create, give, love, believe is what makes you beautiful. This world needs you! So never hide that beauty away, but equally never ever tear down others beauty.
I just want to say that I love my family, my neighbors, my community, and this nation. I love the diversity this nation attracts and the freedom we share to be unique. Above all, I love how each of our uniqueness can become the strongest shield against the storms that try so hard to beat us down. Please breath. Reach out with respect. And use your unique beauty to rebuild your own small corner of this world. Because the world needs you.